Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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