So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
