He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
