I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
