my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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