She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I will pee on everything he values.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
