did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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