sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
