Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
