I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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