dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
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if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
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I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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