He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.