my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
