I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
