I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
