I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
