i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
