How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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