I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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