So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
