Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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