hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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