Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
