I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
