Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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