you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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