I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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