If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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