Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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