not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
