We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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