Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
