I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
