She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
