He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
