3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i don't like sucking hair
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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