I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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