maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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