i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
