I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Where is the hickey?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize