I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
