Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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