OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
