Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
