farters have to be the big spoon...
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize