Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
