i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Blood and glitter go together right?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize