Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
