Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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