I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
