Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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