No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
