last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
