There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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