I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
