i think i have two assholes
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
