I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
