I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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